culture

Easter Thoughts

Here it is the Saturday before Easter. Dee and her granddaughter Danielle are busy in the kitchen making Easter pie. It is an Italian tradition to have Easter pie for the Easter meal. It is basically sausage, eggs, flour and a crust. We bought twenty dollars of ricotta cheese yesterday and Danielle is bringing the sausage and eggs. How many pies will they make? Too early to tell. I would guess four or more.

Reflecting on my past Easters. I was born and raised a Catholic. I remember the forty days of Lent. No eating meat on Fridays. During Lent having to fast, the last two meals could not be more than breakfast. You were supposed to give up something for lent. Just like making a New Years resolution. I gave up on both and no longer even think about them. Stations of the cross every Friday during lent. You were reminded many times you were a sinner, and it was a job to get to heaven. Dressing up for Easter service and a family meal after. The churches Easter guidelines have eased up quite a lot.

The Easter Bunny was around with the Easter egg hunt. You had to hard boil the eggs and then color them. Does anyone do that anymore? All I have seen is the plastic-colored eggs. Surely some of the eggs were hidden so well they weren’t found until the middle of summer.

Easter has become commercialized so much these days and the real meaning of Easter is becoming an afterthought. I just saw that the president just banned religious-themed designs from White House Easter egg art contest. So many American traditions are on someone’s agenda to change or remove them.

ANYWAY!

Inserted after our Easter Dinner. I am so blessed.

I am Ready for Spring

After months of cold, snow and being shut in more than what I like, I am ready for spring. The days are getting longer, and I am getting excited about the warmer days of spring. I like the spring. I enjoy watching the trees and bushes preparing to green up. Since we have moved, I do not have much space for gardening, but I still get the many seed and flower catalogs for me to thumb through and think of flowers and vegetables. I enjoy watching things grow and many days I just go out to see how things progress. Last year I did not have very good luck growing tomatoes but that did not stop me to attempt growing tomatoes again. The other day Dee and I went to Dollar Tree, and I happened to notice some seed packets. I had to buy some. I am not sure where I am even going to plant them, but I just could not pass up the good deal. 

Spring is just a happier time for me. Winters are hard for me to stay in. I am glad when I am able to get out and enjoy the outside without freezing my tail off. My attitude changes and it is just a better time in my life. That is one thing I really like about the Colorado weather and that is the many days of sunshine this area has. I remember when I was in the army in Nurenburg Germany for about 8 months. In those eight months I do not think the sun was out more than 2 weeks for the entire period I was there. This was from December to July but even the springtime was cloudy and overcast. The Nurenburg weather was not my favorite. I guess I will be a Denverite the rest of my time.  

I am sure there are other things that happen in spring, but I just can’t think of anything at the time. I guess I am stuck on the weather. Dee has asked me if I am writing about my duck. So, I will write about my duck. I won a duck at a bazaar when I was young. This was a recently hatched duckling and I enjoyed watching this duck grow up that summer. I made a cage and the duck stayed in the cage during the day and at night I would pick up the cage and the duck would follow me into the garage. The duck would stand on the paper. The duck waited for me to put the cage over her. This duck knew the drill. Also, I dug a small pond and would fill it with water and watch the duck swim around and have a ball. This duck gave me many fond memories. 

SPRING IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF THE YEAR! 

I Survived the March 14 Record Snowstorm

For three days the news media has concentrated on the gigantic storm coming to Denver metro area. It finally started to rain last afternoon and turned to snow sometime during the night. Woke up with five inches of snow this morning. Some foothill locations got forty inches. During the day the lights flickered occasionally but never went out. However, there were reports that around 50,000 were without power due to broken trees taking out power lines.

We live in a community of forty-four homes and the HOA handles snow removal and received an email that snow removal will be done after the snow stops. Well, it has been snowing all day and I hope there is not a medical emergency in the circle. There have been very few auto tracks on the street, and I don’t know if a fire truck or ambulance could navigate the amount of snow on the streets. plus, none of the driveways or walks are cleaned. Wonder if someone has a medical emergency and emergency treatment cannot get in, can the HOA be sued for neglect of duty? Since this post was started Thursday night I will finish it Friday.

Here it is Friday morning, no power outages, no fallen trees or branches. We still are snowed in though. The HOA crew has not done a thing on the snow removal. I have thirteen inches of snow on the front porch. The city did plow down the middle of the street. However, that leaves a twenty-four-inch pile of snow in front of the driveway. No way could I drive over or through that pile. I am over eighty and no way can I remove that pile of heavy wet snow. I guess I am snowbound for a while.

I Am Addicted to Computers and Internet

Since 1994 I have been addicted to Computers. I bought my first desktop computer from a co-worker who built computers. I think I spent around Seven hundred dollars for it. Those were the days of floppy disk drives, 32k modems, Windows 3.1 and cathode ray monitors. Those were the days where dependability was not a strong feature. Remember, “The Blue Screen of Death”? Storage capacity was below a gigabyte.

Technology has really changed in the last thirty years. Now they have storage in terabytes, thumb drives larger than older desktop hard drives. Access to the internet by many means instead of the phone line. Solid state hard drives. Ever drop a laptop and the mechanical hard drive was killed? Desktop and laptop sales are decreasing because smartphones are becoming so versatile. They say this technology is just the beginning. What will we see in next ten years?

I cannot imagine what my life would be like without computers and internet. My handwriting looks like chicken scratching. My typing accuracy was never very good. It was quite a feat to type a page without a typo. With the help of the computer and Microsoft Office of Word, PowerPoint, and Excel I can look like a professional, which I am not. I am able to share my thoughts and memories thanks to the computer and the internet. Although, I spend way too much time on the internet. I never did get into gaming. The most I play on the computer are solitaire.

Daily writing prompt
What activities do you lose yourself in?
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My Favorite Movies

I have two favorite movies and have watched them many times. I have the DVD for both them and pop them in when I need an uplifting moment. Also, if I happen to be watching or streaming tv and I stumble onto them I start watching.

The first is, How the West was won. This is a 1962 movie originally filmed in Cinerama. This was a process of projecting on three screens, and it was supposed to give you a panoramic view. I was nice, but you could see the splits of the three screens. When they remastered the movie for the DVD the split screens are not so obvious. The storyline was about a family that migrated from the east and migrated to the western frontier. It had stories about the Civil War. How the train expansion helped speed up the expansion into the frontier and stories taking place in San Franscisco and California. The music in this movie was great! It was an important part to the success of the movie.

My other favorite is Patton. This is a 1970 movie about the experience of General Patton during World War Two. This is my favorite movie about World War Two. There is Saving Private Ryan, Battle of the Bulge and many more. However, Patton is my favorite. For some reason I have a large interest in this war. I don’t know why. Maybe it was because I was born at the beginning and my parents talked a lot about the war when I was growing up. I have watched every episode on the History Channel about the battles, and Hitler with the Third Reich. Maybe I am trying to understand how people became so dark to do what atrocities they did then. In my life there has been World War Two, Korean War, Viet Nam War, The Gulf war in 1990, and the Iraq War in 2003. I know I left some out. My life has been full of wars. However, my most interest has been WWII.

Daily writing prompt
What movies or TV series have you watched more than 5 times?
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Superstition Versus Faith

from Wikipedia, “A superstition is any belief or practice considered by non-practitioners to be irrational or supernatural, attributed to fate or magic, perceived supernatural influence, or fear of that which is unknown.”

Faith is confidence or trust in a person, thing, or concept. In the context of religion, faith is “belief in God or in the doctrines or teachings of religion”. According to Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary.

Throughout my life I have been exposed to many superstitions. For example, do no step on the cracks in a sidewalk, brings bad luck. Break a mirror, you experience seven years of bad luck. Four leaf clovers bring good luck. Friday the 13th is a bad day. My oldest son was born on Friday the 13th, I can’t say that was bad luck, but good. I could go on for hours about superstitious encounters in my life.

I am a product of a religious mother and grandmother. They were very religious Catholics. I was raised a Catholic. I suppose you could say baptism is evolved around a superstition. If you are not baptized, you die with original sin and will never see heaven. I was taught if you die with a mortal sin, you do not go to heaven. You should be in the state of grace to receive the sacrament of marriage and so on.

I have had strange spiritual events in my life. My mother had a very painful medical death, and she was terrified of dying. How could this be? She was a very religious person, and all this faith did not prepare her for death and the other side. This really bothered me that she was so unprepared. About a week after her service I had a dream, my mother was there sitting in her favorite chair and said, “Tom everything is good. Do not worry about me, continue your life!? I was put at peace and my confusion resolved.

I had another dream about this girl that I have not seen or heard of for over forty years. She said in my dream, “Tom, you and I were meant to be together. If we would have ended up together our lives would have been totally different.” Yes, that bothered me. After forty or more years why did I have a dream about her? This bothered me for a couple of months, and I finally went to my alumni newsletters and got here married name and made an internet search and found out that she died three days prior to my dream. This is spooky. However, it did convince me that death is not the end.

Another event happened in the last ten to fifteen years. I was going for a walk around the park and this loud voice came and said, “Tom, stop trying to be somebody else! Just be yourself! That is what you are expected to be! Ever since, that I am Just Myself!

So, is this superstition or faith? I guess it all depends on what the definition a person has of superstition and faith. I know one thing for sure. My spiritual events have impacted my life more than all religious teaching and superstitions.

Daily writing prompt
Are you superstitious?
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I Do Not Have a Favorite Shoe

Sorry, I did not have a favorite shoe. To me a shoe is a necessity not a luxury. Life would be tough without shoes. Looking at scenes during Jesus’s era and seeing those open sandals and bare feet. No Thank You!

I remember when going to grade school high top tennis shoes were the type to have. You just didn’t fit in if you did not have high top tennis shoes. My mother would shop at Thom McAnn’s shoe store, and we always got our shoes there. Are they even around anymore? A new pair of shoes always gave you a blister somewhere on your foot. When I started in corporate management Florsheim shoes were the brand to have. I had one pair, and they were the worse shoes in my life. After a short period of time, they were not comfortable and lasted less than six months. That was the last Florsheim I bought.

In the army I received two pairs of combat boots and one pair of class A shoes. Since I have a small foot, size eight, I received combat boots made for WWII They had a date of 1944 in the boot, and this was twenty years after the war. The boots received the most attention in my entire life. They always needed to be shined and one pair had to be spit shined for guard duty. They lasted many years after I got out of the army. Probably the reason they lasted was because I did not wear them that often.

I never did get into all these designer shoes or sport shoes like Nike, New Balance, Adidas or others. After I married, I accepted shoes from Target, K-Mart, or Walmart. Cared less about brand name but how they feel and wear. I am still in that position now.

In conclusion, I never had a favorite pair of shoes and never walked “The Yellow Brick Road” in them.

Daily writing prompt
Tell us about your favorite pair of shoes, and where they’ve taken you.
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A Gift of Life

February 7, 2023, I received a gift from God. It was one of the greatest gifts I have received. On that day I was afflicted with a gigantic blood clot between my lungs. The surgeons gave me three options. The first was attempt to use medication to break up the clot. The second was to go up through the groin into the artery using anesthesia. The third was the same procedure but the patient stayed awake without going under anesthesia. They said they had the best results when the patient stayed awake. I picked that option. The most painful was when they cut into the artery to insert their equipment.

Somewhere in the procedure I was feeling very bad. I was at the point that I thought this is my last breath. I must have passed out and sometime later I woke up and was starting to feel better. The remainder of the procedure took about forty-five minutes. after completion the surgeon talked to me and he said, “Tom I think the right decision was made to stay awake. I am afraid if you would have gone under anesthesia, I would have lost you”. At that moment I realized I just received a gift from God!

After three days in ICU and an additional day in the hospital, I went home. Doing some research and I find that only three to five percent survive a clot of that size. Also, most patients die within six months after. Well, it has been over a year now and I am still here! This has truly been a gift from God. How long this gift continues only God knows.

https://tomt2.com/2023/08/10/my-blood-clot/

Daily writing prompt
Share one of the best gifts you’ve ever received.
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Patriotism

A patriot is a person who loves their country. It is generally seen as a positive. Many have ancestry from a foreign country. They have seen or heard how their life has improved in this country compared to where their ancestors came from. They have realized they can believe a religion they may have been restricted from. The world is full of controlling countries and that may be the reason they immigrated. Whatever the reason, a love for a country is starting to materialize when they come to this country and feel the opportunities. Have you ever heard of anyone immigrating to Russia, North Korea for the opportunities?

Defending a country against its enemies, and a desire to see it succeed is very important. There are national cemeteries across the nation that are full of patriots that stepped up and fought and defended the country. Millions are in these cemeteries that made the supreme sacrifice in battle defending this love of country.

Most countries aim to instill patriotism in their youths from a young age, often through education and exposure to patriotic symbols and events. I remember in grade school they would raise the flag when the students were entering. When they were raising the flag, you would stop and wait until the flag was raised. We were taught about the many symbols and history of this country. Unfortunately, I have heard that this has diminished in the last years. If this is true, I am afraid that this will affect this country in the future.

Patriots believe it’s their duty to vote in elections. This is based on their sincere desire for their country to succeed. Patriots pay attention to the events that are happening in the country and vote accordingly. Way too many do not vote and do not have a clue what is going on in the country. I am concerned that this lack of interest could affect the future of this country.

Yes, I consider myself to be a patriot. I vote consistently and follow local and national news and events. I served in the military and was willing to give my life for this country. I respect the flag and symbols of the country. I love this country and have no desire to go to any other country. This country has been very good to me, and I have lived the American Dream.

Daily writing prompt
Are you patriotic? What does being patriotic mean to you?
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I am Just a Mere Mortal

I can’t jump tall buildings, not as fast as a speeding bullet. I haven’t received any heroic metals or certificates. Not a high paying singer, actor or businessman. Not an elected official or important in a religious order. I am just a mere mortal.

Born during World War II. Raised in Denver Metro area. Spent two years in the army. Went to Germany during that time. Got married a while later. Fathered two great sons. Had to experience a divorce and the heartbreaks associated with that. Remarried again after I met the woman, I should have met twenty years sooner. She blessed me with two great stepdaughters and two stepsons. After working forty-five years, retired and now have enjoyed over seventeen years of retirement life. I have experienced the “American Dream!”

Just a mere Mortal.

Daily writing prompt
If there was a biography about you, what would the title be?
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Remembering My Parents

What were your parents doing at your age? Unfortunately, my parent’s journey was over before they reached my age. My mother passed on from bone cancer when she was seventy-five. This was in 1982. Three years later, my father passed on from a heart attack when he was seventy-five. This was in 1985. Since I am over eighty, they both are watching me from heaven then and now.

I have many good memories of mom and dad. They gave me a strong base to live my life. What I am and what I have done is because of them and the values and lessons they taught me. Sure, we had disagreements and differences, but I will always remember and love them for what they gave me and the love they showed for me. I am confident somewhere in the future we will meet again.

Daily writing prompt
What were your parents doing at your age?
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King For a Day

If I had the power to change one law, it would be to enforce the laws now on the books. It can be seen everywhere that current laws are not being enforced. For example, thousands are coming across the border every day. All of a sudden, the immigration laws are not being enforced. Crime is rampant in major cities. If by chance they are arrested, then the DA then releases them with no bail. Just to be released to commit their next crime. Shop lifting must be legal these days. A new phrase emerges, “smash and grab” where large numbers enter a store and take whatever they want. You never hear of any arrests and prosecutions for these crimes. When was the last time you saw a police officer writing a ticket for a traffic offense? How many expired license plates have you seen lately? Because of the political atmosphere it has made it appear that there is a double standard in the prosecuting procedure. Any law that is not enforced, the law becomes useless.

Daily writing prompt
If you had the power to change one law, what would it be and why?
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My Dream Came True

Here is a video of our dream home. These are photos that was on the agents listing.

Back in 2016 my dream came true. For about two years prior we have been looking for a new home. A medical emergency prompted us to do a home search since the EMT’s was not able to get their gurney down the hallway. We looked at many building sites in the Denver Metro area and was not having much luck finding our dream home. We were about to give up the search and started to accept that the home would not be found. 

One night around eight PM we were driving down this street we have been down many times in the past. I was going east and happened to see this for sale sign in a residential neighborhood. I asked my wife, “would you like to tour a home I just saw a for sale sign?” She said, “might as well, it doesn’t look like we will find a new home.” When we got home, I made an internet search and got the address and listing. It was just put on the market Thursday one day ago. Contacted our agent and she made an appointment for Saturday afternoon. We went Saturday and signed a contract the following Sunday.

The house was built in 1998 and the original owner was moving to Phoenix and was selling his home. It was all I ever wanted in a home. A two-car garage that didn’t need to be used for storage space. A large master bedroom larger than the 10 x 12 one we are used to. The laundry room is on the first floor, one of the requirements since we are becoming seasoned citizens. The HOA takes care of the lawn, trash pickup, snow removal, gutter cleaning, and other items. The basement is finished, and it has a workshop. something I have always been dreaming about. This was the final straw. I wanted this house.

To this day I still do not know how I saw the for-sale sign. It was dark and four houses down the side street. My wife says, “it was the Holy Spirit at work and this home was meant for us”. One will never know. We have been here for eight years and will more than likely spend the rest of our lives here.

Daily writing prompt
Write about your dream home.
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Amazing News?

I guess this all depends on a person’s definition of amazing, fantastic news. My definition is some news that affects the entire world not just my small piece of the world. For example, the fall of the Berlin Wall to me was fantastic news. Since I was born during WWII. Communism was a great threat while growing up. I had to spend two years in the army in Germany because of the Iron Curtain. In 1975 I took a trip and crossed the Iron Curtain from Budapest to Vienna Austria. The border was very depressing, 100 yards of defoliated land and machine gun towers 100 yards apart along the border. Fifty miles from the border the tour guide got off the bus. We asked why, she replied, “I am not allowed to get any closer to the border.” We have many freedoms we just take for granted. The Iron Curtain was to keep people in, not stopping people from immigrating in. The Apollo moon landing and return was fantastic news also.

On a closer note, I cannot think of something that was amazingly fantastic. A year ago, I thought I took my last breath. When I awoke from passing out and heard that the survival rate was three to five percent for this kind of procedure, I thought that was great and thanked the Lord for giving me a second chance. I had a good feeling but that is all I could do because I had to stay flat on my back for three days. So, I couldn’t get up start dancing and celebrate. The medical personnel acted like just another day saving lives. Link

I have not experienced a loved one near me survive a serious illness or accident and then survived. I do not know how I would react. I don’t play the lottery so I will never experience winning millions. I kind of doubt that I will ever experience a “great, amazingly fantastic news event”! Time will tell.  

Daily writing prompt
You get some great, amazingly fantastic news. What’s the first thing you do?
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My Interests Have Changed

Throughout my many years I have had many interests. In my teenage years, cars and hotrods captivated my interest. After I got my driver’s license, I bought a 1940 Ford two door sedan. It was a refugee from the junk yard. I paid $125.00 for it. My dream was to make it a car show item. I didn’t have a garage and spent many hours in the back yard sanding, cleaning up and learning about engine repair and modifications. This was before all of these emission requirements, and they were not as sophisticated as they are today. I quickly learned that those hot rod items were expensive, and my budget did not have room for those expenses. A couple of years after high school this hobby was over.

After I got married, we bought a home where the basement was partially finished. This was my next interest, to upgrade the basement. Hanging drywall and paneling was one of the jobs. Putting drywall on a ceiling is a task you never forget. Everyone wanted a bar, so I had to have a bar. All of these projects were a learning experience. you learn to appreciate craftsmen that do this for a living. You could easily see that my projects were done by a “do it yourselfer”. 

The most recent hobby I had was building birdhouses. We moved into a new home for us in 2016. This new home had a workshop and I started building birdhouses. One had to put this new workshop to use, right? I built many birdhouses. I gave birdhouses to neighbors. I sold birdhouses in garage sales. But after a while I had an overabundance of birdhouses. I finally thought enough is enough. In the end I gave the remaining birdhouses to a thrift store.

There have been other interests and hobbies that I enjoyed. Fishing, hunting, RV’s, computer repairs and others. As I aged and matured my interests have changed. The longest interest I have retained is writing. Computers and the internet have helped this interest. I remember that you had to retype many manuscripts before you had an acceptable piece. I have had this site since 2009. It was a little dormant for a period. Now, “I’m Back.”

 My first post

Daily writing prompt
Are there any activities or hobbies you’ve outgrown or lost interest in over time?
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M&M’s

I am addicted to M&M’S dark chocolate. I am not ashamed of it. I have been eating them since the announcement of the dark chocolate type. I still remember the saying, “M&M’s melt in your mouth, not in your hand!” I think M&M’s originated in World War II. The fighting forces liked their chocolate, and the M&M was created to fulfill that desire and solved the chocolate melting problem.

The Most Popular Candy in 16 Countries

according to this link  The US: M&Ms and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups

I get the family size package size, and gobble down approximately one a week.

After writing this post I must go grab a handful of M&M’s MMMMMM Good

Daily writing prompt
What’s your favorite candy?
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Time for Spring

I have king sized cabin fever! I am sick and tired of the cold days. I am tired of the funny winter hats. My hands are always cold. I miss sitting out on the porch enjoying the sunshine.

I received a battery-operated hand warmer last Christmas. The name on it is Zippo. I am sure many vets remember the name Zippo. In my military days everyone had a Zippo lighter. I guess the sales of lighters these days are not that high, so they had to diversify. The hand warmer is nice though. Rechargeable and you can plug into your smartphone and use it in case your smartphone battery dies.

Denver Metro had a record-breaking snowfall recently and that did not help at all. I did not go out of the home for three days and that does not help cabin fever one bit.

The older I become the more I cannot tolerate cold winter months. If I was twenty years younger, I may consider moving to a warmer winter month state. However, I am sure family would convince us to not even consider it. I guess all that leaves is to moan and groan about the cold months.

I need a break!

Daily writing prompt
Do you need a break? From what?
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February 7, 2023

Not much to remember on February 7th. In 1940 the movie Pinocchio premiered. General MacArthur returned to Manila in 1945. President Kennedy blockaded Cuba in 1962. Not much has happened throughout history on February 7th. However, February 7, 2023, is a day I will never forget.

This is the day I dodged death. I was standing in front of deaths door and Doctor Death was holding the door open for me to enter. Here I was laying on the operating table with a massive blood clot between my lungs. The doctors said they had better results if the patient stayed awake, so I went with that option. About 30 minutes after the start, I was really feeling horrible. I was having trouble getting a breath and there was the time I thought, “this is it, life is over”. I must have passed out, but a while later I woke up and slowly started to feel better. I survived and spent the next three days in ICU.

Many times, while lying flat on my back, in ICU I thought many times, “Why was I given a second chance?” It has been a year now and I am still searching for the reason I dodged death on February 7, 2023. Until the reason reveals itself, I will just do what I do best, and this is just be me and enjoy these bonus days and hopefully bonus years.

MEMORIES OF FAITH

https://tomt2.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/memories-of-faith.mp3 podcast

My first church 

The first church in my life was a Catholic church since my mother was a born and raised Catholic. I guess I can say my father did not have a practicing religion. He was raised a Baptist, but I would say he did not go to church services no more than ten times that I can remember. He never interfered with my mother raising my brother and I into the Catholic religion.  

First a little about the history of this church. The name was St. Rose of Lima Catholic Church. It was established in 1924 in an old Presbyterian church in west or southwest Denver. The original was a small grey stucco building, I would say about the size of a small country school building. I distinctly remember the two tall evergreen trees on both sides of the entrance to the church. 

When I was very young, I remember the parish priest, Father Grohman. He was a funny man and full of life. He was probably around 60 when I was young, 

In 1949 father Wogan became the parish priest. Strange man, I could never get close to him. It could have been the normal fear of authority at my young age, and he liked to show his authority. Father Wogan expanded the church. The old gray stucco building was torn down and a new church was built across the alley in 1949. I was seven years old at the time. This church was in the basement because in the next six years a school was built around the structure. In 1955 the school was dedicated and is still open. In 1963 a new church was built just east of the original church, and it is still being used even after the church was severely damaged in the flood of 1965.  

I received my first communion there and confirmation. It is hard to compare the religion what I was raised into the religion of today. In fact, I could say there is no comparison. For example, fear was a big factor. There was time when I compared God to the big accountant. He sat there with his big ledger pad and kept track of every time you sinned and acted human. It was tough getting into heaven those days. Today the game has changed and now I feel like I may have a chance. 

I am sure my past exposure has affected my faith and me. Just as my present exposure affects my faith. The faith I have is based on events happening throughout my life. My life has been a learning experience and the older I become the stronger my faith becomes. 

An influence of my faith 

My grandmother or the mother of my mother was an influence in my faith journey. Grandma was born in Germany and migrated to America when she was seven years old. I am not sure when she learned to read and write English. I do know that she had very little formal education because the migration to America was during her young years when she should have been learning the basics and then she had to go to work to help feed the family. Grandma married and had fourteen children. About half of them died in birth or at a very young age. Her husband died at a young age because of Asthma, and she was left with many children to feed and support. She had to take in laundry and scrub floors so the family could survive. They did not have community support programs during that time. As her children became older, they had to quit school and start work at a young age to help support the family. It sounded like it was a very difficult time. 

 Grandma lived with our family. I think she moved in with us when my parents bought their house. I remember her living with us until she passed away when I was sixteen years old. Her life was hard and a struggle.  

With that said, she was an influence in my faith journey because I never heard her complain about her struggles in life. She was a very religious person. I don’t know how many times a day she would pray. She went to church as often as she could and she always would say, “have faith, God will take care of you.” 

I remember on her deathbed when we would come to visit her, she would say, “you don’t have to come see me anymore. These two angels are here waiting to take me away and she would point in the direction of the corner of the room. To this day I believe she actually saw two angels waiting to take her away. 

Song of my faith 

Here I am searching my brain for a song that is instrumental in my faith. It is in there somewhere, but I am having a difficult time finding it. In fact, I am having a difficult time thinking of any song this is significant in my life. One of the first songs that came to thought of was “Ave Maria”. Why that song came to me first I cannot explain. It just came to mind that many Christmas Carols about Christ is instrumental to my faith. I do believe that Christ is the son of God and Christmas Carols do celebrate Christ’s coming into the world. “Silent Night”, “Away in the Manager”, and others give me a strange warm feeling when I hear them. However, that is just a period in the year. After the Christmas season these songs are not played until the beginning of the next Christmas season.  

I am looking for that one song that affects me throughout the entire year.  

There is one song that I truly love. This may sound strange, but that song is the theme song from “How the west was won”. When the words “the Promised Land” are sung it emphasizes or re-enforces my faith that there is a Promised Land beyond life on this earth. I know it is not a traditional religious song. I may not have a traditional song stored in my brain. Many times, I strongly feel that my faith is not from traditional organized religious practices but from subtle events and ideas that I have experienced. 

Icon of my faith 

Here I am trying to think about an icon of my faith. This is a tough subject for me because I see an icon as an inanimate object with no life. Whereas my faith is alive and vibrant. I can look at a cross and it brings the thought of suffering Christ did for mankind. However, there are other icons or stories that bring the same thoughts to mind. The cross is not the only center of point for these thoughts. 

Being from a Catholic raised environment statues were and still are big in the Catholic faith. I feel that the statues were attempts to remember an individual. They were before photography. I have never looked at a statue as an icon. 

What I am trying to say is that my faith is not dependent on some icon. My faith has come from lessons and teachings of the Christian religion throughout my life and events that have happened between me and the unknown.  

Religion of youth versus religion of adulthood 

What I am today is so much different than what I was in earlier periods of my life. For example, in my young years when I was indoctrinated into faith and religion. Everything was black and white. Or you might say it was either good or bad. You had to worry about the bad things or the sinful aspects of life. Much of religion was memorization, many aspects were just bad, don’t question it, just abide by it. 

As I became older in my journey of life, I attempted to abide by all these rules and regulations. It was tough and many times I questioned my worthiness. I was a sinner and walked around with a large case of guilt. Now that I look back at these misdeeds they now are not as bad as they were at the time. 

As life progressed and other events in my life took place my outlook on life and religion began to change. Religion and faith started to be an important part of everyday life. Whereas in younger years it was a hamper to being happy and feeling good about myself. 

So here I am now. I will never be an evangelist. Religion and faith are a difficult subject to discuss because so much of my faith is an internal gift and what I feel may not work for another. If I can’t relay my faith in words, what do I do? I resort to actions and displaying my faith with what I do. How I live and how I show love to others that cross into my journey of life.  

What is worship? 

Thinking about it I am sure everyone has a different concept and idea on this thought. I am sure no one will ever come up with a one definition that fits all. Even my thoughts on this subject tonight may change at a later time.  

I am feeling that worship is a conversation with God. I have heard that worship is just praising God. Sorry, this does not work for me. I have been in many one-sided conversations, and they can be very boring and useless. To have a good conversation both parties need to be involved and share thoughts and feelings. Many will say that God does not talk to you. It may be that you expect to receive the response like you communicate to God. Is God communicating to you in subtle ways that is not in the form of traditional communication? This could be one of the mysteries of worship. Worship can be a seven-day event, not just an event reserved for church service time. It just dawned on me that I might just link worship with prayer. 

Conclusion  

In conclusion, the above subjects were writing prompts in a writing group from 2009. I brushed them off and refreshed them. It has been fourteen years since they were written, and a lot has happened in my faith.  

First, we have become more active in the Lutheran branch of Christianity it amazed me how close or similar the two are. When I was young, I was told than protestants were wrong and going down the wrong path. I came to the realization that they are God loving humans and try to do the best they can to lead a good life. We have attended many denominations during this period have realized that they are all Christians.  

Finally, I experienced a near death experience last February. I thought I breathed my last breath and was prepared to meet the maker. I must have passed out but somehow the doctors revived me, and I started to feel better. How long I was out I will never know. This tale can be read at “My Blood Clot”. All tests and lab work show that there was no long-term damage and the chances of surviving more years are good. I am now at ease of death, and I am confident there is more after death on this earth. I am convinced that God loves us unconditionally and Christ died for our sins. The hard part to accept is that God loves the bad guys unconditionally and Christ died for their sins too.