Month: June 2024

My Surgery Tales

I am over eighty and have been relatively healthy throughout my life. In spite of smoking for over twenty years and doing very little exercise during that time. I also have drunk my share of alcohol.

My first surgery was when I was fifty. It was cataract surgery on my right eye. This was an outpatient surgery, and I was home before lunch. I was amazed at how bright and clear my vision was. Ten years later, I had the same surgery on my left eye. Since the surgery was done by two different providers I do not know if this done on purpose or what. The first implant had the focal point for distant vision. The second implant has the focal point for close vision. The only time I have to wear glasses is for close detail work. It is amazing how your brain can adjust for two different focal points.

My second event happened in 2018. I started having pain in the early evening on my right side below my rib cage. Finally, around 11pm my wife took me to the ER. The CAT scan showed an 11mm kidney stone in my right kidney and it got in a position where it attempted to travel down the tube to the bladder. The ER personnel said that was the largest kidney stone that they have ever seen. It was removed by going up from the basement and used a laser to break it up. I peed chocolate milk for 12 hours after the removal.

Finally on February 7, 2023, around 2:30 in the morning I woke up with a terrific Charlie Horse in my left calf. I massaged it trying to relieve the pain. Big Mistake! The pain decreased but about 30 minutes later I had difficulty breathing, woke Dee my wife and she called 911. The EMT’s took me to ER. The CAT scan showed a Pulmonary Saddle Embolism between my lungs. Otherwise, a gigantic blood clot. The speculation was that massaging the calf dislodged the clot and it migrated up to my chest.

They gave me three options. First, to attempt to use medication to remove the clot. Secondly, to go under anesthesia and enter through the groin with their instruments and remove the clot. Finally, to do the same procedure but the patient stays awake during the procedure. They said they have had the best luck when the patient stays awake and alert. That is the option I chose.

The most painful was when they cut the vein or artery for the entrance of the instruments. The other was just discomfort. After about 30 minutes I heard one of the assistants say, “Doctor his blood pressure is dropping.” I was starting to feel really bad, and I was at the point I was thinking this was my last breath. I blacked out. A period later I woke up and was starting to feel better. After about 45 minutes the surgeon was finished and told his aide to finish it.

The doctor started talking to me and asked how I was doing and that he got most of the clot but there were areas he couldn’t reach. In the conversation I asked. “Doctor, I heard an aide say my blood pressure was dropping”, how low did it go? There was a pause and he finally said, “Tom, you don’t want to know how low it went, and I am not going to tell you.” I still don’t know how low it dropped. He also stated, “Tom, I think we made the right decision for you to stay awake. I am afraid that if you went under anesthesia, I would have lost you.” That was an eye-opening comment to me. I then spent three days in ICU and then went home.

This was a near death experience, and I may have had a preview of time after death. During the time I blacked out until I woke up, I experienced something I have never experienced in my entire life and that was peace, total peace! I cannot express or explain what I was feeling but I am ready to feel it again. Was this a preview? Who Knows.

That was close to over a year and a half ago. I am doing well. I will never get back to myself before this event, but I am happy where I am.

Daily writing prompt
Have you ever had surgery? What for?
View all responses

Ramblings Magazine Podcast

Since the end of March, I have been combining my postings from various platforms and producing a twenty-page series of magazines named Rambling Magazine. Since I have been posting on Word Press since 2009, I have a collection of over 200 postings. I am also on Sub Stack and posted many articles on YourHub.com when it was owned by The Rocky Mountain News. Also, I was a participant of a local writing group.

I was told I should write a book with my comments about anything postings. Writing a book and compiling it may take a year or more. That is why I went with the magazine platform. Since I am in my senior years, I may have 10 days left or 10 years. I did not want to start a book and never finish it.

My podcast page is my most popular area. The current buzz word is podcast, and it has become a great addition to my site. That is why I have composed a podcast for Rambling Magazine Issue #1. We will see how the response will be.

ABOVE IS THE PODCAST FOR RAMBLINGS MAGAZINE ISSUE #1

Link to podcast page https://tomt2.com/audio-files/

There are times when I wish I was twenty years younger. I believe I could make a career out of this challenge. This blogging journey has been exciting and satisfying.

Me and Spirituality

First a little history about me. I was born and raised a Catholic. My mother was a devout Catholic and Grandma, her mother was also. Grandma lived with us until I was fifteen when she passed away. My dad was raised a Baptist but did not practice any religion. Anyway, I was started out as a catholic.

I went through all the things a young person did growing up as a prospective Catholic. I went to catechism every Sunday after service. Listened to my mother and grandma about the Catholic religion. I was baptized, did first confession and first communion. Finally, confirmation, to become a soldier of Christ. During that time, I ended up with the impression that it was very difficult to become worthy of entering heaven. After your death God was there with his big tablet and you had to account for every sin you committed during your time on earth. I cannot ever remember being told that God loves you unconditionally. During this time the church used fear of eternal suffering in hell to be a good human. Being just human was a sin.

I went through most of my life as a Catholic. Trying to earn my way into eternal life with God. During this journey I had some spiritual events. First, when my grandmother was on her deathbed, she did not have time for us. She said that there were these two angels in the corner of the hospital room waiting for her. You can believe that or not.

Secondly, when my mother was in hospice, she said to me. “Tom, I am afraid of dying. I don’t know what is waiting for me. I am very afraid.” This really bothered me because she was a devout Catholic and I thought she should be more prepared for death. I was disturbed until a short period after her service my mother came to me in a dream. She was sitting in her favorite chair with the Mona Lisa smile on her face and communicated to me. “Tom everything is great, I am at peace, do not be concerned about me.” You can believe that or not.

Thirdly, I met this girl in grade school. We became very attached to each other. We had something special. Being the jerk I was in high school; I ended the relationship. Around sixty years later she came to me in a dream and said “Tom, I was meant (created) for you. However, you rejected me. Our lives would have been totally different if you would not have rejected me.” I woke up with a start and it bothered me. After a period of time, I did some research and discovered that she died three days before I had this dream. Did a spirit visit me? You can believe it or not.

Forth, I was taking a walk alone in the afternoon and this voice said to me. “Tom, stop trying to be somebody you are not, just be yourself, that is why you are on earth. Since then, I am just being myself.

Finally, I had a near death experience and after I thought I took my final breath I was someplace, and I felt PEACE, TOTAL PEACE! What I felt is difficult to explain. I was having a feeling I have never felt in my eighty plus years, PEACE! I truly believe I experienced a preview of time after death.

In conclusion, my religious experience and the above spiritual events has prepared me for the final days. The final days may be soon or twenty years from now. When the time comes, I will be ready to experience that feeling of PEACE, TOTAL PEACE!

I am convinced God loves us unconditionally and Christ died for our sins.

Daily writing prompt
How important is spirituality in your life?
View all responses

I will never forget

The night of April 11th, 2010, I had a strange dream. This involved a girl, (woman) I have not thought about for 68 years. This was Sandra. I went to grade, junior, and high school with her. In grade school Sandra and I were very close. The first time we met we were attracted to each other. That was over sixty years ago, and I can’t say that I can remember that much about that time. We did make it a point to be next to each other and would look for each other when there was a gathering. I do remember one event that still is important to me. During that time there were tables the size where two individuals sat at the table. We always made it a point to sit at the same table if we were able to. Anyway, the teacher was rambling on, and I was on the left Sandra was on the right. Our arms were resting on the table, and they were barely touching each other. I was starting to get this tingling feeling from my elbow down to my wrist where our arms were interacting. This felt great! I can still feel the tingling going up and down my arm. Sandra was having the same response. She looks at me and smiles. I will never forget this moment. This was before sex ever became involved or thought about. One could say she was my first girlfriend, maybe even my soul mate and didn’t realize it.  

We went on to high school and began to drift apart. My teenage years were very hard for me. I was angry and mad. I didn’t like myself. I didn’t like the feelings and thoughts I was having. Those apparent hormones were doing a number on me. I had a loving family, All the things a teenager could expect. Driving at sixteen, a part time job and money in my pocket. Looking back at those times, I would say I was a jerk. Because of this I killed the relationship between me and Sandra. We went our separate ways, and I didn’t think of her until April 11, 2010. 

 In this dream Sandra came to me and said, “Tom, I was meant (created) for you. However, you rejected me. Our lives would have been totally different if you would not have rejected me.” This dream was a visual and moving dream. This bothered me because I wondered why I dreamt of Sandra after not seeing or hearing about her for over fifty years or more. Finally, on April 18th I thought I would search for some information about Sandra.  

Going to my yearbook newsletters I found out she was married to Ed. I did a Google search and came up with an obituary stating that Sandra passed away April 8, 2010. That was only three days before I had my strange dream. This really shocked me and leaves me with more questions than answers. Was this a visit from someone who recently died. Would my life have been different? Would it have been better or worse? I will never know. I have had a good life and I feel I have made more good decisions instead of bad decisions. Did this change my outlook? Yes, it did. I have never been a strong religious person even though I was born and raised a Catholic. They teach that there is life after death. But I always had in the back of my mind, that may be wrong. However, after this dream I am convinced that yes, there is something after death. This dream occurred in 2010 and the dream relieved me of that thought ever since. death is not final. You can come to your own conclusion. Life is one large teaching experience. From birth until death, you are learning.  

Daily writing prompt
Write about your first crush.
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Germany and England

In the middle sixty’s compliments of the US Army, I spent approximately fifteen months in Germany. I was stationed at Merrill Barracks in Nurenburg and Cambrai Frisch Kaserne at Darmstadt. This was during the Cold War era and there were around 500,000 US military in European countries. During that time, I was able to do some traveling around the area. Visiting Munich, Frankfurt and a trip to Switzerland. All in all, it was a good experience in spite of being in the Army.

It has been over sixty years since that time, and I would like to see what that area looks like now. I am sure that area has changed quite a lot, and I would not recognize the area.

Another area I would like to visit is the lower area of England. My dad’s roots are from Cornwall England back in the 1530’s. It would be interesting to see something about the area my ancestors came from. I had a DNA test and found out that 50% of me is from Germany, 40% from England and 10% from other European areas.

This is just a dream I have. Since I am well into my seasoned years I kind of doubt that this dream will ever come true.

Daily writing prompt
What countries do you want to visit?
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Retirement Ramblings

Retirement is a highlight in one’s life. You work many years, and the goal is to retire in comfort and enjoy your remaining years. Retirement is one of the American dreams that can come true. It takes some planning and saving to reach the goal. Also, it takes a little luck for all the cards to fall in place so that Retirement can happen.

Since I retired eighteen years ago, I will share what I did to help me live comfortable in retirement. First, I made sure all my credit cards were paid off. The only balances I had in credit cards were monthly expenses and they were paid off totally every month. I inquired what my social security monthly amount would be, and the small pension amounts we would receive after retirement. Reviewed the condition of the vehicles seeing how many years they would last before replacement. Then, made a tentative budget seeing if our retirement income would cover the necessary expenses every month. Entertainment items such as trips and vacations would come out of savings. The decision was made to retire and hope our finances would last longer than us.

Everything was doing ok until the financial crash of 2008. At that time our portfolio showed unrealized losses to be over one half of our portfolio. The decision had to be made to sell the stocks and change the unrealized losses to realized losses. Since I didn’t need the money, I elected keep the stock until the value of the investment returned to the purchase price and then sell. We didn’t make any money, but we didn’t lose any either. It took about seven years to finally regain all our original investments. These were scary times, and the decision were made to pull out the stock market completely and just invest in secure investments. I was just becoming too old to live with that stress and insecurity. We have been ok financially since.

As you become older health issues tend to hamper retirement plans. The vacations and trips appear to be shelved because of health issues. We have had over eighteen years of comfortable retirement and feel very fortunate to have these years. Hopefully we will have many more.

Daily writing prompt
How do you want to retire?
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Memoires

At the time being I am passionate about writing my tales and stories from my eighty plus years of living on this planet. There is a driving force in me that I cannot explain that keeps telling me to put the stories and tales in words. I have become passionate about this project. I spend many hours writing and composing. I wake up in the middle of the night with a prompt about a new rambling. Then I spend an hour a more thinking on assembling and composing it. I am watching tv and think about what I could write about the subject being broadcast. I guess I am hooked.

When I retired in 2006, I started writing. Before then I was too busy working, raising a family, and solving everyday problems one encounters. I joined a writing group, and we would meet once a month, write for an hour and then share our stories and offer suggestions. In 2018 I decided it was time to stop going since my writing interests were declining. Around 2006 I also opened up a Word Press account and published quite often. However, that interest declined after a period.

After my near-death event about fifteen months ago, I dusted off Word Press and starting writing and publishing tales and ramblings about anything. This has created Ramblings Magazine https://tomt2.com/about-dee-t2-0/ I decided a magazine format would work out better for me. One may ask, why a magazine instead of a book? A book could take a long time to compose, and I am at the point where I may have twenty more years or twenty more minutes. Only time will tell.

In conclusion, my passion is writing today and will continue until I am no longer able to.

Daily writing prompt
What are you passionate about?
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Springtime

After months of cold and snow for months the time of the best part of the year is finally here. Yes, I am talking about springtime.

Winters have become hard on me since I have been retired. I do not like being couped up in the home listening to the furnace coming on many times and for long periods. Leaving me wonder how much the utility bill is going to be this month. Ever since I have been on blood thinner medication, I am always cold. Looking out the window and seeing all the dormant leafless trees is depressing. The wind blowing and watching the snow swirl makes me feel very glad that I am inside instead of being outside going to work.

Then, as usual the weather starts to warm up, the residual snow piles begin to melt, and the days become longer. Spring is here. The trees start to leaf out. The grass starts to green up. You can see the springtime flowers blossoming and you do not have to deal with below freezing temperatures. The cure for my bigtime cabin fever is here. God is good!

Daily writing prompt
What is your favorite season of year? Why?
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Just A Mere Mortal

As the days and years go by, I have come to the conclusion that I am just a mere mortal. Am I going to do anything or write anything that leaves a lasting impression on this world? I kind of doubt it.

I have had a good life experience. I was raised by loving parents and did not have to suffer any hardships and tragedies in my growing up years. I was able to work and provide for the two sons I fathered. I served my country with time in the army. Marriage and family life have entered my life twice. I am still experiencing my second marital journey. Over eighteen years of retirement life and I sense more years of this journey on this earth.

Over a year ago I survived a medical near-death experience. During the recuperation period I thought that there must have been a reason for surviving. It has been over a year now and I am still searching for the reason. I am beginning to think the only reason I survived was to experience and learn from that near death encounter.

With that said, I am just a mere mortal and will do what mere mortals do and that is to attempt to live a good life.

Daily writing prompt
If humans had taglines, what would yours be?
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I Have Been So Blessed

As I reflect on my life, I have concluded that I have been so blessed. Compared to millions of others my life has been easy.

I was born into a loving family. My parents loved me and protected, fed, and taught me in my young years. I fell on a broken bottle and seriously cut my arm from the wrist to the elbow. It was a blessing that the main artery was not severed. If it was I more than likely would have bled out at that young age.

I elected to not to continue on to college after high school when many said without a college degree you will not experience the American dream. I have been blessed with a comfortable financially stable life. I do not have millions, but I have more than enough to sustain the American dream.

I was drafted into the army during the Vietnam era. I was blessed to spend my enlistment in Germany whereas the seven I was drafted with went to Vietnam. I did not have to suffer the pain and violence of armed conflict.

I became married and the blessing of two great children was generated from this relationship. Unfortunately, one must experience hurt and pain in parts of their lives. This relationship came to an end after eleven years. However, we are now able to talk to each other. The hurt and anger has been shelved and that is another blessing.

I was blessed with another loving relationship, and this brought me four stepchildren which I truly love their mother and her children. We are still together and enjoying and spending our final days together. Trust and allowing each other to be themselves is a gift and a blessing to experience.

A little over a year ago I experienced a life-threatening medical issue. There was a point where thought I was taking my last breath. I thought, “Here I am Lord!” I believe, for a short period of time I had a preview of time after death. I experienced such peace during that time, it was unexplainable. This was a time I will never forget. I am ready to experience this peace again.

In conclusion, as you can see that I have experienced more blessings than hurt and pain. I thank the Lord many times for the blessings I have received. I am just a mere mortal, but I firmly believe that time after death is going to surprise everyone.