family

Military time

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It was the first part of 1964. I was employed with a good job, feeling secure and satisfied with my routine. A year ago, I bought a new car, a shiny, red 2 door hardtop that turned heads as I drove down the street. Life was great, filled with possibilities and dreams waiting to unfold. I was searching for the love of my life, often daydreaming about the future we could build together, and had some money in the bank, allowing me a sense of financial freedom. Then, in February, I received this letter in the mail that felt like a bolt from the blue. “Your friends and neighbors have selected you to become a member of the United States Army.” I was drafted! This unexpected turn of events sent chills down my spine and changed my entire life, forcing me to reevaluate my plans and adapt to a future I had never anticipated.

Took the oath in March 1964 and eagerly boarded a train to report to Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri, where I would undergo rigorous combat basic training that would prepare me for the challenges ahead. After an intense few months, in July, I successfully finished basic training and received my orders to report to Fort Huachuca, Arizona, where I was to engage in advanced individual training to develop specialized skills vital for my role. By November, I found myself in the bustling atmosphere of Fort Dix, New Jersey, excited yet anxious, where I boarded a ship that would take me across the ocean to Bremerhaven, Germany. The journey was long, but eventually, I stepped onto foreign soil and took a train ride to Nuremberg, where I reported to the 2nd Armored Cavalry Regiment. This assignment was crucial, as I was entrusted with the significant responsibility of guarding the border between Germany and Czechoslovakia during a tense period in history, showcasing my commitment to duty and the service of my country.

As my saga continued, in March of 1966, I received orders to return to the United States and Fort Hamilton, New York, where I was discharged from active duty with the United States Army. This marked the beginning of a new chapter in my life, but the transition wasn’t without its challenges. At home in Denver, I eagerly awaited the next step, and it wasn’t long before I received notice that I had been assigned to the 244th Engineer Battalion, which was located at the Rocky Mountain Arsenal near Denver. This assignment meant that I was to serve my two years of active army reserve obligation, during which I would balance civilian life with the commitments of military service. After completing my two years of active reserve, I finally received my discharge, but there was a lingering reminder of my commitment, as I had to spend two more years in the army inactive reserve. This was during the tumultuous Viet Nam era, and each day brought with it a sense of uncertainty; you never truly knew if your unit would be called up for active Viet Nam duty. The fear of deployment loomed over many of us, but fortunately, I never received the dreaded orders that would take me into the heart of conflict, allowing me to focus on my personal aspirations and the future ahead.

This experience helped me grow the most and opened my eyes to the rich tapestry of human diversity. The best part of this experience was learning about people from all walks of life. You meet all kinds of individuals from many different parts of the country and various nationalities, each with their own unique stories and perspectives that enrich your understanding of the world. This profound exposure to diverse backgrounds and cultures has equipped me with invaluable skills, which have helped me tremendously in future years while dealing with people in both personal and professional settings. I really believe it was the best experience of my life, as it taught me not only to appreciate differences but also to embrace commonalities. Finally, I found out that most people are basically good and are just trying to do what is best in the situations they are confronted with within their lives, navigating challenges and striving for better outcomes for themselves and their loved ones.

Daily writing prompt
What experiences in life helped you grow the most?
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My Favorite people

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First, My wife Dee. We have been together since the early eighties and decided to marry in 1995. We were both going through divorces, feeling the weight of our pasts, yet somehow, we managed to pick each other up and help each other understand that there is indeed life after an unplanned life-changing event. Through the ups and downs, we became each other’s support system, navigating the complexities of our emotions, and finding solace in our shared experiences. We have been one for over forty years now, creating a tapestry of memories woven from countless trips across the nation and two unforgettable journeys to Italy during those four decades. Each adventure brought us closer, as we explored new places together, indulging in the local cuisine and appreciating the beauty of different cultures. Now, as we embrace our senior years, we continue to enjoy being together, finding joy in the simple moments, and enduring the various events that life presents at this stage. The best part of all these years is that we have allowed each of us to be ourselves, fostering an environment of authenticity. We have built a relationship where there are no false fronts, no role-playing—just the freedom to be myself and her as herself. This genuine connection has made our lives profoundly fulfilling. Life has been great since Dee, and I cherish every moment we share, knowing that our love is a testament to resilience and companionship.

Second, is my two sons, Jeff and Adam, and my four stepchildren, Rick, Rob, Rita, and Renee. They have all been blessings in our lives, filling our days with joy and laughter. Each of them has forged their own unique paths and built wonderful families of their own, and I truly enjoy when we gather together to reminisce about past memories and celebrate upcoming milestones. These family reunions are particularly special, as they create a warm atmosphere where stories are shared, and laughter echoes. With them comes their families—loving partners, enthusiastic children, adorable grandchildren, and even great-grandchildren who bring an extra layer of joy to our gatherings. They are bonuses that we have been blessed with, enriching our lives in ways that words cannot fully capture, and reminding us of the importance of family bonds that transcend generations.
Every moment spent together is a treasured gift, creating a tapestry of love and connection that we are fortunate to share.

Third, are friends that have crossed our paths and enriched our lives in meaningful ways. I enjoy Dolores and her daughter Darlene, who bring a warmth and joy to every gathering. They are cherished church friends whom we met on one of our many enriching trips. Tom, Dolores’s husband, has passed on, leaving behind fond memories that we often share in his honor. After church services, they host delightful coffee and snacks in the fellowship hall, where I eagerly participate, as it gives us the chance to connect and share events in our lives that shape our experiences. There’s always a new story to tell or a laugh to be shared, deepening our bond not just as friends but as a community. Can’t forget Chuck, who is another good friend from a different church setting. A group of 10 to 12 men get together once a month for breakfast, a tradition that I look forward to immensely. I always attempt to sit next to Chuck, as his insights and humor make our conversations engaging; we take the time to reflect on what is happening in our lives, whether it’s personal milestones or challenges we face. Finally, there is Gary, an old-time friend with whom I enjoy the occasional meet-up to discuss politics and the current events that shape our world. Our discussions often dive deep into our differing perspectives yet are underpinned by mutual respect and understanding. It is strange how you can click with some individuals and genuinely enjoy being around them, as if they were meant to be part of your journey, adding richness and depth to the fabric of our lives.

Unfortunately, Stan, Jack, Len, and others have passed on, leaving a profound void in my life. Their laughter, wisdom, and friendship will always be cherished and remembered fondly. I will always remember them, not just for the moments we shared but for the invaluable lessons they imparted, shaping who we are today. Their spirits continue to inspire me, reminding me to celebrate life and the connections we form with those we hold dear.

Daily writing prompt
Who are your favorite people to be around?
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Mother’s Day May 12,2024

Today is Mother’s Day and a couple of days ago I realized that it has been over forty years since mom passed away. I was in her body for nine months. She nourished me, kept me warm and protected me while I was just growing inside her. I am sure I created her a lot of pain since she commented to me that I was a large baby.

From birth until my twenties, she fed me, protected me, taught me many things about living and life. As I look back at my life, I was a handful during my young years. One time while standing in the grocery store behind this lady. The lady turned around and said to me, “you little snot!”. My mother asked her what the problem was, and the lady replied. “Your son just pinched me on the butt!” I then received the lesson that you don’t pinch ladies’ butts.

The teenage years were very difficult for me which today I still do not know why. I was angry at the world and didn’t like myself. I took everything for granted and gave my mother many trying times in those years. I got involved with the wrong crowd of teenagers and was very fortunate I didn’t get arrested or paid long term for any deeds we did. My mother continued to love me and never left my side.

When I was drafted into the army, she faithfully wrote me a letter every week If it wasn’t for the letters from mom, I would have received very few letters from home during military times. I had very few friends at that time. I am the type of person that does not attempt to continue a friendship.  

Coming home from the military my parents welcomed me back into their home and allowed me to live there until marriage came into my life. I did have to pay room and board while I lived there though. It was good for me because I needed to realize in this world nothing is free. Mom loved me just a much as she did when I was young.

Through marriage, a divorce, living alone mom was always beside me. Her love never faulted. I now regret that I took this love for granted and I wish I would have done more and showed more appreciation for this everlasting love. I am sure mom is looking down at me now and saying, “Tom, I still love you”.

Mom, I love you. I am sorry it took me so long to realize how much I love you.  

COMMENTS ON CHRISTMAS AND THE HOLIDAYS 

Christmas is near. This time of year brings out parties, family gatherings, gifts and memories of Christmas’s past. Since I am in my seasoned years, I have many Christmas and holiday memories.  

In my young years I remembered Santa Claus. Going to the department store to visit Santa. He scared the hell out of me. Why do I have to tell him what I wanted for Christmas. I remember one time I wouldn’t drink my milk and Mom had to call Santa Claus and tell him I was being bad. Yes, I did drink my milk. I did not want to take the chance of not having a present under the tree on Christmas day. We did not have a fireplace, or a chimney and I was at the age where I had hundreds of questions. “Mom how will Santa be able to get in?” She assured me that they would leave the front door unlocked so that he could get in to drop off the gifts. I never got a lump of coal from Santa.  

Christmas music is songs that stick with you all your life. We would go to downtown Denver and the stores would have Christmas displays in their front windows. Christmas music was played out on the front sidewalk. The Denver Dry Goods had the largest display of all. They always had a large display of electric trains and I have had a love of train displays throughout my life because of these displays. It was a very happy and joyous time of the year. 

One can’t forget Midnight Mass. You got to stay up until midnight, but it was tough to stay awake since your biological clock says it is time to sleep around 9:30 or 10:00 o’clock.  But you didn’t have to take the time to go to church Christmas morning. We would always have Christmas dinner. We never had a large crowd because the home we lived in was small.  Or we would go over to my dad’s aunts for Christmas dinner. 

In my young years the Christmas tree was always a real tree. That was before all these artificial trees. We would go to a tree lot and pick one out and come home and start decorating. That was fun and exciting. In those days if a light burned out in the string of lights, they all went out and you had to find which one went out. The tinsel took a long time to put on, one strand at a time. After the holidays the tree was very dry. The needles were falling off and it was a definite fire hazard. You waited till after New Years before the tree was taken down. Then we got an artificial tree. One of those silver aluminum trees. Couldn’t put lights on it. We got a color wheel that shined on the tree. It was pretty.  

One year when I was in junior high, (middle school these days), the home room had a gift exchange. We all drew names, and you got a gift for the name you drew. Whoever drew my name did not bring a gift for me. I was hurt and devastated. I was the only one that did not receive a gift. I will never know who it was, but that really hurt.  

During those days there was Christmas and New Year’s Day holidays I never did understand the reason for New Years Day. I still feel the only reason for that holiday is to have another excuse to drink too much. In our small world there were Christians and no religion families. There were no Jewish, Muslim or black families in our area. Now there is Hanukkah, Ramadan, Kwanza and others I am sure I missed others. This is fine with me. Holidays are not just reserved for Christian denominations.   

I hope everyone has a nice and joyful holiday.