Day: June 19, 2025

My First Crush

The night of April 11th, 2010, I had a strange dream. This involved a girl, (woman) I have not thought about for 68 years. This was Sandra. I went to grade, junior, and high school with her. In grade school Sandra and I were very close. The first time we met we were attracted to each other. That was over sixty years ago, and I can’t say that I can remember that much about that time. We did make it a point to be next to each other and would look for each other when there was a gathering. I do remember one event that still is important to me. During that time there were tables the size where two individuals sat at the table. We always made it a point to sit at the same table if we were able to. Anyway, the teacher was rambling on, and I was on the left Sandra was on the right. Our arms were resting on the table, and they were barely touching each other. I was starting to get this tingling feeling from my elbow down to my wrist where our arms were interacting. This felt great! I can still feel the tingling going up and down my arm. Sandra was having the same response. She looks at me and smiles. I will never forget this moment. This was before sex ever became involved or thought about. One could say she was my first girlfriend, maybe even my soul mate and didn’t realize it.  

We went on to high school and began to drift apart. My teenage years were very hard for me. I was angry and mad. I didn’t like myself. I didn’t like the feelings and thoughts I was having. Those apparent hormones were doing a number on me. I had a loving family, All the things a teenager could expect. Driving at sixteen, a part time job and money in my pocket. Looking back at those times, I would say I was a jerk. Because of this I killed the relationship between me and Sandra. We went our separate ways, and I didn’t think of her until April 11, 2010. 

 In this dream Sandra came to me and said, “Tom, I was meant (created) for you. However, you rejected me. Our lives would have been totally different if you would not have rejected me.” This dream was a visual and moving dream. This bothered me because I wondered why I dreamt of Sandra after not seeing or hearing about her for over fifty years or more. Finally, on April 18th I thought I would search for some information about Sandra.  

Going to my yearbook newsletters I found out she was married to Ed. I did a Google search and came up with an obituary stating that Sandra passed away April 8, 2010. That was only three days before I had my strange dream. This really shocked me and leaves me with more questions than answers. Was this a visit from someone who recently died. Would my life have been different? Would it have been better or worse? I will never know. I have had a good life, and I feel I have made more good decisions instead of bad decisions. Did this change my outlook? Yes, it did. I have never been a strong religious person even though I was born and raised a Catholic. They teach that there is life after death. But I always had in the back of my mind, that may be wrong. However, after this dream I am convinced that yes, there is something after death. This dream occurred in 2010, and the dream relieved me of that thought ever since. death is not final. You can come to your own conclusion. Life is one large teaching experience. From birth until death, you are learning.  

Daily writing prompt
Write about your first crush.
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Why Are We Here? Exploring Our Purpose

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Have you ever thought about why you are spending time on this earth?

The world is not a friendly place. There is bad weather, disease, and pain, all of which contribute to a pervasive sense of distress. It seems that there is constant war somewhere on the earth, threatening lives and displacing countless individuals from their homes. In some parts of the world, starvation is a serious problem, with entire communities struggling to find enough food to survive each day. The anguish of those suffering from hunger is compounded by a lack of access to medical care and basic sanitation, leading to a cycle of despair and hopelessness. I could go on and on about how this earth is not a friendly place for millions who have spent time on this planet, enduring hardships that often seem insurmountable, leaving them to wonder if there is any reprieve in sight.

How many faiths and religions have been or are currently attempting to explain the profound question of your presence on this earth? Each belief system, whether ancient or modern, carries unique stories and teachings that reflect humanity’s quest for understanding its place in the universe. From the monotheistic teachings of major world religions to the polytheistic perspectives found in various traditions, countless voices have sought to articulate the meaning of life and existence. Through rituals, sacred texts, and communal practices, these faiths aim to provide answers to our deepest yearnings and questions about purpose, identity, and the ultimate nature of reality.

The earth is just a small speck in this gigantic universe, a tiny oasis amidst the vastness of space that stretches infinitely in all directions. I do not know how many planets have been discovered that may be suitable for forms of life to survive, but scientists tirelessly search for those celestial bodies that might harbor the conditions necessary for life, such as the right temperature, atmosphere, and presence of water. Each new discovery ignites the imagination, prompting wild speculations about the myriad possibilities for life beyond our own world, raising questions about our place in the cosmos and whether we are truly alone in this grand expanse.

What if your time is a form of penance or punishment from another civilization located in the gigantic universe, a celestial courtroom beyond our comprehension? Are we paying for something that we did in another planet, shackled by the weight of our past mistakes, and time on earth was the sentence imposed upon us? Perhaps the very fabric of our existence is governed by unseen forces, orchestrating our lives in a manner we cannot fully understand. I often find myself pondering these perplexing ideas, questioning whether the mundane trials we endure are mere trivialities or echoes of a cosmic judgment. I don’t know where these crazy thoughts come from, but they linger like shadows in my mind, provoking a sense of wonder and questions about the true nature of our reality and our place within this vast, enigmatic universe.

Is this just me, or do you ever wonder about your purpose and time on this earth?
It seems that, at various points in our lives, we find ourselves pondering the deeper meanings of our existence, searching for answers to questions that often feel too complex to grasp.
We reflect on the choices we’ve made, the experiences we’ve had, and the dreams we once chased, all while considering how they shape our identity and future.
In a world that is constantly changing, it’s natural to seek clarity about our roles and the impact we leave behind, as we navigate the delicate balance between fulfilling personal aspirations and contributing to the greater good.

This question will remain unanswered until after our time on earth; it lingers like a whisper in the wind, provoking thought and curiosity in those who consider its meaning. As we navigate life’s complexities and mysteries, we often struggle with the uncertainties that shape our human experience. Whether through philosophy, spirituality, or science, the answers we seek may be out of reach, prompting us to reflect on our beliefs and values as we move through life. Ultimately, we may only discover the truths that have been hidden from us once we rise beyond our earthly limits.