Day: March 19, 2025

Myself

For most of my life, I have tried to be something I was not, always feeling the heavy weight of expectations from those around me. Many times, throughout my journey, I heard phrases like “You should be like, whatever name you want to insert,” echoing in my mind. In my younger years, it was particularly striking; I would often hear, “you should be more like your brother.” The idea that I should mirror someone who is five years older than me seemed absurd at times. After all, each of us has our own unique path to walk. I guess I was a handful when I was young, full of energy and curiosity, eager to explore the world in my own way. Going to school, I faced similar sentiments from teachers and peers alike, hearing the same refrain: “You should be more like Johnny.” As if my worth could somehow be measured against his achievements or behavior. Even at church, the message was clear but stark; I was told I was a sinner and should strive to be more like the saints and apostles. These constant reminders emphasized the notion that I should mold myself into an ideal that fit neatly within the societal norms. Well, I got the picture; I should be somebody I am not and become someone who fulfills the criteria of those around me, fitting into a box that I never truly belonged in. Yet, deep inside, I yearned for the freedom to embrace my authentic self, to carve out my own identity free from the shadows of others.

My teenage years were very difficult for me. For some reason, I was angry and mad all the time, feeling as though a storm was brewing inside me, one that I couldn’t quite understand or control. I hated myself and my situation, constantly questioning my choices and my identity. Was it because I was trying to be somebody I was not, desperately seeking approval from my peers and struggling to find my place in the world, or was it just the hormonal change that everyone goes through during that age? The confusion often left me feeling isolated, as if I was trapped in a tumultuous sea with no way to swim to shore. Each day felt like a battle, where the weight of expectations bore down heavily on my shoulders, making it hard to breathe. Simple tasks like getting out of bed or wearing a smile seemed daunting, as if they required an energy I lacked. My relationships with family and friends began to fray at the seams, with misunderstandings and frustrations bubbling to the surface. One will never know if it was a combination of both, a perfect storm of teenage angst that shaped my experiences, but those years left a lasting imprint on my soul, instilling a sense of resilience in me that I would later learn to harness as I navigated adulthood.

I was drafted into the army later, and looking back now, I think this is one of the best things that happened to me in that period. This was in the Viet Nam era, but fortunately, my service period was served in Germany instead of Viet Nam, unlike the seven other men drafted on that day. They all went to Viet Nam, facing the uncertainty and dangers of a war-torn landscape. Why I went to Germany and not Viet Nam is something I will never know, and perhaps it was simply a twist of fate. In the service, you meet all kinds of people from many different areas of the country, bringing with them a rich tapestry of experiences and backgrounds. Because of that, I realized that the human race is not that bad; most people, despite their situations, are inherently good. All the ones I met were basically good and were just trying to get through the challenges in front of them, forging friendships that transcended our differences and shared struggles that created a bond that I still cherish to this day. The camaraderie formed during that time taught me invaluable lessons about empathy, understanding, and the importance of supporting one another, regardless of the circumstances we faced.

I have spent maybe two thirds of my life trying to be somebody that I am not. You may believe this or not, but one day I was taking a walk around the greenbelt near our home, which is a tranquil place filled with the rustling sounds of nature and the fresh scent of a small creek. There was nobody around, and I was just having some silent time to my own, allowing my thoughts to drift and my mind to clear. Suddenly, this loud voice came out and spoke, breaking the peaceful silence of my surroundings. “Tom, stop trying to be somebody else, just be yourself! Your purpose in life is to be yourself!” Those words echoed in my mind, touching something deep within me. After that profound event, I made the conscious decision to just be myself, embracing my true identity with all its complexities and imperfections. Since that time, I have been at peace and am genuinely enjoying simply being myself. I even like myself, flaws and all. This is one significant and positive change I have made in my life, a breakthrough that has opened up new avenues of self-acceptance and fulfillment that I had never experienced before.

Daily writing prompt
What is one word that describes you?
View all responses

How Many Email Address’s Do You Have?


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The Accumulation of Email Addresses: A Modern Digital Phenomenon

In today’s digital age, the accumulation of email addresses by individuals has become a significant and widespread phenomenon. From personal to professional, and from temporary to permanent, the number of email addresses one might acquire can be quite extensive. Here’s a look at why and how people end up with multiple email addresses.

Why Multiple Email Addresses?

  1. Personal Use:
    • Primary Personal Email: Most individuals start with one email address for general personal use, which might be used for social media, personal correspondence, or shopping.
    • Spam Management: Many people create additional email addresses specifically for less important or potentially spam-generating activities, like signing up for newsletters or online promotions.
  2. Professional Needs:
    • Work Email: Employment often necessitates a professional email address provided by the company. This can change with each job or even within the same company as one’s role evolves.
    • Freelancers and Entrepreneurs: Those with multiple gigs or businesses might have separate emails for each venture to keep their professional communications organized.
  3. Privacy and Security:
    • Disposable Emails: For privacy concerns or to avoid spam, people might use services that offer temporary email addresses that can be discarded after use.
    • Activity-Specific Emails: Some prefer different emails for different types of online activities (e.g., one for banking, another for gaming).
  4. Educational Purposes:
    • Student Emails: Educational institutions often provide email addresses to students which might be used for academic purposes and then abandoned or retained for alumni networks.
  5. Digital Footprint Reduction:
    • Anonymous Use: Creating new email addresses can help manage one’s digital footprint, allowing individuals to segment their online presence for different purposes without cross-contamination of personal data.

How Many is Too Many?

The number of email addresses one might acquire can vary widely:

  • Minimalists: Some might stick to just one or two email addresses, valuing simplicity and ease of management.
  • Average Users: Many might have between three to five, covering personal, work, and perhaps a couple for privacy or spam management.
  • Digital Enthusiasts: Tech-savvy or privacy-conscious individuals might have upwards of ten or more, tailored for specific uses or to maintain anonymity across different platforms.

Management Challenges

With each email address comes the challenge of management:

  • Password Management: Keeping track of passwords for multiple accounts.
  • Email Overload: The risk of information overload, where managing multiple inboxes becomes a task in itself.
  • Identity Consistency: Ensuring that the use of different emails does not lead to confusion or loss of important communications.

In conclusion, the proliferation of email addresses in one’s digital life reflects not just the expansion of personal and professional spheres but also an increased awareness of privacy, security, and digital management needs. While having multiple email addresses serves various practical purposes, it also demands a level of organization and vigilance to ensure that each serves its intended purpose without overwhelming the user. As digital practices evolve, so too will the strategies for handling the myriad emails that populate our inboxes, turning the management of email addresses into an art form of the digital era.